Saturday, December 28, 2013

New Years Resolutions Are Just an Attitude

There was a really great editorial in the New York Times the other day comparing the new year to the edges in nature.  For those who don't spend most of your time outside, the edges are where everything happens in nature: where the woods meet the prairie, where the lake meets dry land.  These are dynamic places, places full of biodiversity and life and energy.  The author thought of the new year as a sort of human-created edge, the place where desire and expectation intersects with actuality.  The new year is, presumably, a dynamic time much like the thicket separating a cultivated field and woods.

All of this thought about the new year reminds me of where I was last year.  At this time last year, I was broken, burned out, exhausted, stressed out, and too unwilling to admit it.  Our first year of farming had done me in, and the winter did not allow for much rest or down time with it's unrealistically long list of mandatory projects, long (and late) seedling schedule, and constant money woes.  I had more scream-and-fall-on-the-ground-crying moments last winter and spring than I can remember having in the rest of my adult life.  And, of course, it took me until very recently to really admit how broken I felt.

Fast forward to this year, and the edge does feel dynamic.  After taking most of December off and actually resting, I feel somewhat relaxed and rejuvenated going into 2014.  Last year, I was pulled into all the changes of my life kicking and screaming.  I was scared and felt out of control.  This year, I am genuinely excited about the changes I see before me.  I am excited and ready to get to work.  I am excited and ready for all the transitions happening in my personal life.  I am excited about the challenges and opportunities that this year will bring.  I can hardly even imagine what December 2014 will look like, but I hope I can approach it with a much more positive attitude than I approached January 2013.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Re-Starting a Blog...

So, I definitely do not even remember writing that blog post from almost a year ago (or creating this blog, for that matter).  That being said, I like it.  It's a good introduction.  But instead of filling in all the missing pieces, I'm just going to start where I'm at.

Chelsea and I just got back from our honeymoon, which was very restful and much-needed.  We are taking off most of December (with the exception of the ever busy week before Christmas), then introducing a winter CSA starting in January.

In college I took a World Religions class taught by a Disciples of Christ minister in Macon, Janetta Cravens.  We spent an equal amount of time on each of the world's five major religions: Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, and Hinduism.  I loved Dr. Cravens' thoughtful lectures, especially when we would begin to discuss a new religion.  She would start class by saying something like, "It is with much sadness that we now leave Judaism.  I love Judaism's strong sense of story and place, the rootedness in history that comes with that, and the great rituals that bind the community of believers.  Although I am sad to leave Judaism, it is with much joy that we now take a look at Islam."  I always admired the poignancy of that transition.  She had a unique ability to sum up what was great and beautiful about each religion in a couple of sentences before moving on to the next.

I am always reminded of these poignant transitions when we see the seasons change on the farm.  Upon returning to the farm this weekend, after the hustle and bustle of the wedding, the parade of colors, the euphoria of that great celebration, everything appears still, as if the entire farm just began hibernating for winter.  And so, it is with much sadness that we now leave fall.  Chelsea and I always claim fall as our favorite season, although we are most likely to claim that in late summer when the heat and humidity no longer feel bearable.  Here in middle Georgia, the grass stays green and many of the leaves refuse to change until we get our first frost sometime in early to mid-November.  Fall here is green, although not quite green like spring.  September and October are our driest months, so fall is a bit dusty but also full of color: the leaves start to change, colorful greens and root crops come back in season, the last of the summer crops keep producing until a frost or the plague take them down.  After the unrelenting heat of late summer, the cooler temperatures of fall give everything a boost of energy.  Fall is exuberant, it is the celebration before hibernation.

Despite the sadness of leaving fall, it is with much excitement and pleasure that we begin winter.  Winter is a stark, beautiful time on the farm.  The trees are bare, the grass is dusty brown, and sometimes standing in the middle of the empty pecan orchard the entire earth feel still.  Of course, there are snakes burrowed underground asleep and mice rummaging around for warmth and food.  But, just looking out at the big picture, it feels as though the whole farm is suspended in time indefinitely.  The air is cooler, the light is lower, the sap is running down to the roots.  Our mild winters allow us to grow a wide range of crops in the ground through the winter, so we don't have to rely on root cellars and storage crops.  Nonetheless, even the root crops and greens in the field are a bit more gnarly and toughened by the winter.  Winter foods feel dense, like everything from the year is being locked away inside of them.  You feel rooted when you eat them, as if you yourself are burrowed safe underground like the field mice.

So, as our winter break begins I feel entirely rooted.  Yesterday, I stayed in my pajamas all day for the first time in years.  I stoked the fire all day, slowly warming the house up to the idea of us being home.  Delilah and I walked around and looked at everything, picked a few turnips, fed the chickens.  I left one of our last chickens from last fall in the stew pot for a few hours, then made three pots of soup.  We did not need three pots of soup (we have a refrigerator full of random leftovers people brought for the week of the wedding), but I needed to make three pots of soup.  The first was a turnip soup, made with a single gigantic Gold Ball turnip, several Hakurei turnips, a few sprigs of rosemary and glugs of red wine, enriched with chicken stock.  The second was a potato soup, made with the last few yellow potatoes, the green skins cut off, and a few of those great Japanese sweet potatoes.  The last was a chicken and greens soup, made with most of the meat off the soup chicken, spinach, chard, turnip greens, collards, and the remains from a jar of smoky tomato sauce.  I thought about trying to call friends to see if anyone wanted to share a bowl of soup and stories from the wedding or their Thanksgivings, but I decided against it.  This was an afternoon for us to feel at home, to feel grounded, and to take root in this place.  It is going to be a good winter.

How to Start a Blog?

So, how exactly do you start a blog?  This blog isn't part of a project, I'm not travelling somewhere, I'm not trying to promote a product or anything.  Just writing to remember.  I guess introductions are in order.

My name is Bobby.  I am a 26-year-old organic vegetable farmer and bread baker in Gordon, Georgia.  I graduated from college just down the road in 2009, from Georgia College in Milledgeville, with a degree in Liberal Studies, on my way to get a job or do graduate studies in nonprofits or public policy.  After that, I'm not entirely sure what happened.  Despite the recession, I got a few perfect job offers in my field but none of them felt right.  I just stuck around and worked at a coffee shop with my friends, started baking lots and lots of bread and selling it or giving it away, and started gardening.  When Chelsea graduated, we decided to have an adventure and travel the country volunteering on organic farms through the WWOOF program.  But, we are really bad at travelling and adventuring, so we ended up staying at the first farm we visited in West Virginia for the rest of the season.  I say we are bad at adventuring.  Really, we were just lucky.  We found the right place at the right time, with the right mentors, and I fell in love with farming.

Have you ever discovered something only to feel like it had been a part of you your entire life?  After a short time, you can't imagine yourself without this thing, as if it has always been a part of you?  That's how I felt when I discovered farming.  I did not grow up in a farming family.  My mother's family come from the early suburbs that have since been swallowed up into the city.  My dad's family comes from a small rural town, but they were always townies: bankers, shop owners, newspapermen, but not farmers.  Somehow, though, here I am.  A farmer.

After our apprenticeship in West Virginia, we were homesick and trying to figure out what to do next.  We spent a few months researching our options, then moved to North Carolina to get a degree in sustainable agriculture.  We had a miserable time there, but we learned a lot about ourselves and farming.  Chelsea worked at a goat cheese dairy, and I managed a small produce and cut flower farm.  We decided to start looking for land back home in Georgia, and the opportunity of a lifetime fell in our laps.  So, in October 2011 we moved into a rundown farmhouse down a half mile dirt road in Gordon, Georgia and started trying to carve a farm out of the brush that rushes in to overtake a piece of land when you turn your back for a decade.

And now we are here.  It has been an overwhelmingly difficult year, and I'm sure if you asked Chelsea she would tell you she wouldn't do it all over again.  But, we made it.  Most of the holes in the roof (and floor) have been patched, fences have been raised, crops have grown and died, families have been fed, that elusive feeling we call "community" has been felt.  After hosting all three families (hers, mine, and the landlords) in one place for the first time this Thanksgiving, we went into recovery mode.  Nearly two months later, and I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.  But, now it is time to begin again.  Days are growing longer, new seeds are arriving, and CSA members are beginning to send in their checks.  Now, I'm just trying to muster up the courage to jump in again and hope I remember how to swim.

So, that is who I am.  After writing that, I think the purpose of this blog is to remind me the why of it all.  I find it far too easy to run through the never ending to-do list without remembering why I chose this particular to-do list in the first place.  I am a farmer because I love building and tweaking my perfect system, my perfect world, even if it's only these few acres.  I love the feeling of dirt on my hands.